Are you the type of person who looks after everyone else and puts your needs at the bottom of the list?
How many times have you said "Oh, I don't have time to do that for myself, I have too many other things to do?
Recently I overheard a conversation between a manager and an employee regarding a professional development event.
The employee wanted to attend something which related to self care. The manager said that the workshop needed to pertain to the job.
Initially I thought "that makes sense". Then I realized that taking care of you relates to any and every job. If we don't take care of ourselves, who will?
One of my clients often spoke about how she always felt rushed. She agreed to make a list of all her commitments and then realized the reason she felt so overwhelmed. She worked full-time, was married and had 3 kids who were involved in various extracurricular activities. She was quite involved with her church, was a class parent and was involved in a fundraising project for a local charity. Her parents were getting older and had some health issues which she often had to attend too.
She recognized that there weren't enough hours in the day to do everything and that she rarely had time for herself or her relationship with her husband. She began to evaluate her priorities, practiced saying "no" to requests and learned how to delegate.
She became more energized and clearer about what she wanted and recognized that it was time to start valuing herself.
If you have ever traveled by plane you have heard the spiel about putting the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child. Often it is instinctive to put yourself last.
Let's examine ways to put the oxygen mask on you first.
Make a list of all the commitments and responsibilities you have. Consider what you can eliminate and delegate. How much time would that free up for you? If you are having trouble with this, you might need to ask for help in order to make some changes.
The next step involves you considering yourself and what your needs are. What gives you pleasure and energy? What are the things in your life which excite you?
Many of my clients have been out of sync with themselves so long time that this question initially stumps them.
What do you do for fun? How often do you incorporate fun into your life? If you are having difficulty identifying things, think about what you did as a child that you enjoyed and relished.
The last step is to take Action!
Do 1 or 2 of the things that you have identified.
Notice how it makes you feel both physically and emotionally. What impact is it having on your life?
Here are the guidelines for you to begin to place greater value on yourself:
Clarify - Write down a list of all things you'd like to do or want to try. Don't eliminate anything, no judgments, just write for 5 minutes.
Action - Peruse the list and choose two things that you want to take action on.
Schedule yourself time to do it within the next week.
Ideally do it in the next two days. Just do it!
Create supportive environments - Our intentions are often good, but we tend to slide back into the old habit of putting yourself last. What or who could support you in taking action? Tell at least two people your intentions so that they can help you move forward. Have fun!!
Showing posts with label Work Life Balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work Life Balance. Show all posts
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH that everyone should know!
Humanity is sitting on a ticking time bomb. If the vast majority of the world's scientists are right, we have just ten years to avert a major catastrophe that could send our entire planet into a tail-spin of epic destruction involving extreme weather, floods, droughts, epidemics and killer heat waves beyond anything we have ever experienced.
If that sounds like a recipe for serious gloom and doom -- think again. From director Davis Guggenheim comes the Sundance Film Festival hit, AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, which offers a passionate and inspirational look at one man's fervent crusade to halt global warming's deadly progress in its tracks by exposing the myths and misconceptions that surround it. That man is former Vice President Al Gore, who, in the wake of defeat in the 2000 election, re-set the course of his life to focus on a last-ditch, all-out effort to help save the planet from irrevocable change.
Know more about "An Inconvenient Truth" at --> http://www.climatecrisis.net/
If you can, watch the movie, people called it "One of the most important films ever"!
Yes, it is really impressing for me.
Intros. about Al Gore (阿尔·戈尔) :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Gore
http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%98%BF%E5%B0%94%C2%B7%E6%88%88%E5%B0%94
If that sounds like a recipe for serious gloom and doom -- think again. From director Davis Guggenheim comes the Sundance Film Festival hit, AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, which offers a passionate and inspirational look at one man's fervent crusade to halt global warming's deadly progress in its tracks by exposing the myths and misconceptions that surround it. That man is former Vice President Al Gore, who, in the wake of defeat in the 2000 election, re-set the course of his life to focus on a last-ditch, all-out effort to help save the planet from irrevocable change.
Know more about "An Inconvenient Truth" at --> http://www.climatecrisis.net/
If you can, watch the movie, people called it "One of the most important films ever"!
Yes, it is really impressing for me.
Intros. about Al Gore (阿尔·戈尔) :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Gore
http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%98%BF%E5%B0%94%C2%B7%E6%88%88%E5%B0%94
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
10 IT Health Risks — And How To Combat Them
Everybody seems to understand that movers and construction workers can have serious back and neck problems from their strenuous work. But when you sit at a desk most of the day, people aren’t necessarily as sympathetic when you moan and groan about your spine, your sore throat, or your mood. Based on anecdotal evidence gathered in various workplaces, here are the top ailments people in a typical IT office may face.
#1: A slug’s life
When the only body part you move in your job is your mouse finger, you just have to take fitness into your own hands. Do you have to train for a marathon to lose some weight? Not at all, according to Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic. He found that the time spent sitting was more likely to correlate with weight gain than the lack of vigorous exercise. You can keep slim, according to Levine, by walking slowly (about 0.7 mph) two to three hours a day.
Although few of us can stroll around the neighborhood that long, several companies have developed workstations with treadmills attached so you can pseudo-walk while you check your e-mail or debug code. It all makes CNET’s Mike Yamamoto wonder if there’s a conspiracy to tether workers to their desks. (You can download several tools from TechRepublic to help you evaluate and manage your weight, including a body mass index [BMI] calculator.)
#2: SIT happens
Weight gain can creep up on you, but it’s not an emergency in itself. A much more serious hazard of office work is seated immobility thromboembolism (SIT). This problem occurs when blood clots form in the legs (deep vein thrombosis) or lungs (pulmonary embolism) in people who spend a long time sitting. People may develop these clots while on a long trip, if they don’t get out of the car or stroll around in the plane’s cabin a bit. CNET noted the risk of deep vein thrombosis increasing back in this 2003 article. More recently, results of a New Zealand study suggested that a sedentary job may double the risk of developing clots in the legs (DVTs) or, even more dangerous, clots in the lungs.
#3: So many headaches
From the flicker of fluorescent lights to the hunched-up debugging posture, the conditions of your cube farm conspire to cause headaches. Pagers, end users, and the threat of outsourcing provide additional stress to kindle a dandy migraine or tension headache. Downing Tylenol or ibuprofen several times a week can backfire by making your pain more tenacious. If you get in a pattern of frequent headaches, see a doctor to get out of the rut.
You may have tension headaches, which can be treated with massage or stretches to help relax your muscles. Migraine is another possibility. Even if you don’t have the visual disturbances (auras) that are the hallmarks of a “classic” migraine, you may have a common migraine. The good news is that there are many medications you can try to treat and prevent migraines. Although some are quite expensive ($25 or more per dose), treat the headaches aggressively. Migraines can affect your mood, your threshold of pain, and perhaps even your risk of stroke.
#4: The bobblehead syndrome
Do you nod off frequently at your desk and perhaps even have brief dreams? These episodes, called microsleeps, may indicate you’re sleep deprived. It’s natural for the human body to crave a siesta after lunch, but excessive daytime sleepiness needs to be treated. Most adults need seven to eight hours of sleep a night, so simply going to bed earlier may be all you need.
If you’re in the sack long enough but are still tired, consider your environment (a snoring spouse, a hot or cold room). Crying babies and pagers can jar you out of sleep and seriously disrupt normal sleep cycles. Sleep apnea is a fairly common but scary-sounding problem: People with the disorder briefly stop breathing, often hundreds of times a night, which disrupts normal sleep phases. Physical abnormalities that cause excessive snoring can also lead to poor sleep. So check with your doctor, who may refer you to an ear, nose, and throat specialist or sleep clinic to sort out your sleep problems.
#5: Hurting hands
Although your hands and wrists may be sore from intensive typing, there’s not a whole lot of evidence to link keyboard use to carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS). A 2007 study of men who worked at video display terminals found an association of CTS with high body mass index (BMI) and job seniority — but not with specific tasks related to computer usage. Still, many conditions other than CTS can make your hands and wrists hurt, so it’s wise to check with your doctor to try to get some relief.
Severe carpal tunnel syndrome is usually treated with surgery, but many other conditions that cause hand pain don’t require such drastic treatment. Tendonitis, for example, is a fairly common cause of hand pain that may be treated with anti-inflammatory drugs (such as ibuprofen or naproxen) and splinting.
#6: Relax harder!
How is it that sitting on your chair and looking at a monitor can make your back, neck, and shoulder muscles feel like you’ve spent eight hours painting a ceiling? Your tense posture may be part of the problem. Improving the ergonomics of your work area may help take the stress off your upper body. Try not to transfer the tension in your mind to your muscles and take a break now and then to unclench.
#7. Noxious invaders
The dry air of a typical office certainly doesn’t help your immune systems ward off your coworkers’ coughs, but hey, at least you’re not sitting in a daycare center. There are hundreds of cold viruses, plus several influenza viruses each year. What can you do to stay healthy and help keep your coworkers healthy, too?
- Stay home for a change.
- Clean your keyboard, mouse and desk.
- Wash your hands.
- Keep hydrated.
No replicable scientific studies have proven that vitamin C, Echinacea, or zinc will prevent or shorten colds, but many people swear by them.
As far as gastrointestinal illness goes, remember that the most common transmission route is fecal-oral. So, for God’s sake, wash your hands after going to the restroom. Also, consider the effective, but possibly neurotic, act of opening the door with a paper towel when you leave.
#8: Eye strain
Watching a backlit screen two feet away for four hours at a time isn’t really natural, is it? So it’s no surprise that people in IT complain about irritated eyes and declining visual acuity. Here are some suggestions that may help:
- Remember to blink. Yes, blinking is pretty much automatic, but some people really keep their eyes peeled when they’re engaged in work. Their eyes dry out, which is extra hard on people who wear contact lenses. A few drops of artificial tears can make your tired eyes much more comfortable.
- Change your focus. Look out the window or down the hallway — anything to get away from your two-foot focus. There are even programs designed to remind you to give your eyes a break.
- Get an eye exam. Your doctor may have more tips to help you feel more comfortable as you work. And everyone needs to be screened for glaucoma and other eye diseases anyway.
#9: Heavy lifting
If your job requires you to lift, lower, and/or carry equipment around, you might find yourself battling back pain. Maybe you spend your days installing workstations or inserting/removing computers from racks — and if you’re used to the work and know the right way to protect yourself in the process, you might not have any problems at all. But if it’s an occasional task, or if you don’t follow some basic precautions, you could wind up with a painful injury or chronic back trouble.
Despite the fact that best practices for lifting are largely common sense, people often ignore them — and often wish they hadn’t. Here are some basic recommendations for protecting your back:
- Examine an object before you try to pick it up to determine how awkward and heavy it is. Tip it a little to test its weight and make sure you have a comfortable, secure way to grip it.
- If you think an object might be too heavy for you move, find an alternative: Get someone to help you, unpack or dismantle the object and move it in pieces, use a dolly, etc.
- Don’t extend your arms when you pick up or lower a heavy object. That puts a big strain on your back.
- Watch your footing — the last thing you want to do is stumble or trip while carrying something heavy.
- Lift correctly. Keep your straight back, kneel to pick up the object, and then lift using your leg strength, not your back.
#10: Something in the air
If you work on a lot of systems, you’re no stranger to dust. Even a well-maintained machine in a clean, ventilated area is going to pull in plenty of it. And if you work on customers’ computers or make a lot of workstation calls, you’re going to feel like Tom Joad before long.
This may not faze you at all, but if you’re like many techs out there, it could spell big-time allergy, respiratory, and sinus woes.
Among the suggestions from veteran dust-sensitive IT pros: Put on a dust mask before opening a case (or crawling around under a grubby workstation). And if you plan to use compressed air to blow some of the dust out of the case, definitely mask up first. You might also want to consider vacuuming that dust out rather than blowing it around — but you should use an ESD (electrostatic discharge) safe vacuum designed for electronics.
#1: A slug’s life
When the only body part you move in your job is your mouse finger, you just have to take fitness into your own hands. Do you have to train for a marathon to lose some weight? Not at all, according to Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic. He found that the time spent sitting was more likely to correlate with weight gain than the lack of vigorous exercise. You can keep slim, according to Levine, by walking slowly (about 0.7 mph) two to three hours a day.
Although few of us can stroll around the neighborhood that long, several companies have developed workstations with treadmills attached so you can pseudo-walk while you check your e-mail or debug code. It all makes CNET’s Mike Yamamoto wonder if there’s a conspiracy to tether workers to their desks. (You can download several tools from TechRepublic to help you evaluate and manage your weight, including a body mass index [BMI] calculator.)
#2: SIT happens
Weight gain can creep up on you, but it’s not an emergency in itself. A much more serious hazard of office work is seated immobility thromboembolism (SIT). This problem occurs when blood clots form in the legs (deep vein thrombosis) or lungs (pulmonary embolism) in people who spend a long time sitting. People may develop these clots while on a long trip, if they don’t get out of the car or stroll around in the plane’s cabin a bit. CNET noted the risk of deep vein thrombosis increasing back in this 2003 article. More recently, results of a New Zealand study suggested that a sedentary job may double the risk of developing clots in the legs (DVTs) or, even more dangerous, clots in the lungs.
#3: So many headaches
From the flicker of fluorescent lights to the hunched-up debugging posture, the conditions of your cube farm conspire to cause headaches. Pagers, end users, and the threat of outsourcing provide additional stress to kindle a dandy migraine or tension headache. Downing Tylenol or ibuprofen several times a week can backfire by making your pain more tenacious. If you get in a pattern of frequent headaches, see a doctor to get out of the rut.
You may have tension headaches, which can be treated with massage or stretches to help relax your muscles. Migraine is another possibility. Even if you don’t have the visual disturbances (auras) that are the hallmarks of a “classic” migraine, you may have a common migraine. The good news is that there are many medications you can try to treat and prevent migraines. Although some are quite expensive ($25 or more per dose), treat the headaches aggressively. Migraines can affect your mood, your threshold of pain, and perhaps even your risk of stroke.
#4: The bobblehead syndrome
Do you nod off frequently at your desk and perhaps even have brief dreams? These episodes, called microsleeps, may indicate you’re sleep deprived. It’s natural for the human body to crave a siesta after lunch, but excessive daytime sleepiness needs to be treated. Most adults need seven to eight hours of sleep a night, so simply going to bed earlier may be all you need.
If you’re in the sack long enough but are still tired, consider your environment (a snoring spouse, a hot or cold room). Crying babies and pagers can jar you out of sleep and seriously disrupt normal sleep cycles. Sleep apnea is a fairly common but scary-sounding problem: People with the disorder briefly stop breathing, often hundreds of times a night, which disrupts normal sleep phases. Physical abnormalities that cause excessive snoring can also lead to poor sleep. So check with your doctor, who may refer you to an ear, nose, and throat specialist or sleep clinic to sort out your sleep problems.
#5: Hurting hands
Although your hands and wrists may be sore from intensive typing, there’s not a whole lot of evidence to link keyboard use to carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS). A 2007 study of men who worked at video display terminals found an association of CTS with high body mass index (BMI) and job seniority — but not with specific tasks related to computer usage. Still, many conditions other than CTS can make your hands and wrists hurt, so it’s wise to check with your doctor to try to get some relief.
Severe carpal tunnel syndrome is usually treated with surgery, but many other conditions that cause hand pain don’t require such drastic treatment. Tendonitis, for example, is a fairly common cause of hand pain that may be treated with anti-inflammatory drugs (such as ibuprofen or naproxen) and splinting.
#6: Relax harder!
How is it that sitting on your chair and looking at a monitor can make your back, neck, and shoulder muscles feel like you’ve spent eight hours painting a ceiling? Your tense posture may be part of the problem. Improving the ergonomics of your work area may help take the stress off your upper body. Try not to transfer the tension in your mind to your muscles and take a break now and then to unclench.
#7. Noxious invaders
The dry air of a typical office certainly doesn’t help your immune systems ward off your coworkers’ coughs, but hey, at least you’re not sitting in a daycare center. There are hundreds of cold viruses, plus several influenza viruses each year. What can you do to stay healthy and help keep your coworkers healthy, too?
- Stay home for a change.
- Clean your keyboard, mouse and desk.
- Wash your hands.
- Keep hydrated.
No replicable scientific studies have proven that vitamin C, Echinacea, or zinc will prevent or shorten colds, but many people swear by them.
As far as gastrointestinal illness goes, remember that the most common transmission route is fecal-oral. So, for God’s sake, wash your hands after going to the restroom. Also, consider the effective, but possibly neurotic, act of opening the door with a paper towel when you leave.
#8: Eye strain
Watching a backlit screen two feet away for four hours at a time isn’t really natural, is it? So it’s no surprise that people in IT complain about irritated eyes and declining visual acuity. Here are some suggestions that may help:
- Remember to blink. Yes, blinking is pretty much automatic, but some people really keep their eyes peeled when they’re engaged in work. Their eyes dry out, which is extra hard on people who wear contact lenses. A few drops of artificial tears can make your tired eyes much more comfortable.
- Change your focus. Look out the window or down the hallway — anything to get away from your two-foot focus. There are even programs designed to remind you to give your eyes a break.
- Get an eye exam. Your doctor may have more tips to help you feel more comfortable as you work. And everyone needs to be screened for glaucoma and other eye diseases anyway.
#9: Heavy lifting
If your job requires you to lift, lower, and/or carry equipment around, you might find yourself battling back pain. Maybe you spend your days installing workstations or inserting/removing computers from racks — and if you’re used to the work and know the right way to protect yourself in the process, you might not have any problems at all. But if it’s an occasional task, or if you don’t follow some basic precautions, you could wind up with a painful injury or chronic back trouble.
Despite the fact that best practices for lifting are largely common sense, people often ignore them — and often wish they hadn’t. Here are some basic recommendations for protecting your back:
- Examine an object before you try to pick it up to determine how awkward and heavy it is. Tip it a little to test its weight and make sure you have a comfortable, secure way to grip it.
- If you think an object might be too heavy for you move, find an alternative: Get someone to help you, unpack or dismantle the object and move it in pieces, use a dolly, etc.
- Don’t extend your arms when you pick up or lower a heavy object. That puts a big strain on your back.
- Watch your footing — the last thing you want to do is stumble or trip while carrying something heavy.
- Lift correctly. Keep your straight back, kneel to pick up the object, and then lift using your leg strength, not your back.
#10: Something in the air
If you work on a lot of systems, you’re no stranger to dust. Even a well-maintained machine in a clean, ventilated area is going to pull in plenty of it. And if you work on customers’ computers or make a lot of workstation calls, you’re going to feel like Tom Joad before long.
This may not faze you at all, but if you’re like many techs out there, it could spell big-time allergy, respiratory, and sinus woes.
Among the suggestions from veteran dust-sensitive IT pros: Put on a dust mask before opening a case (or crawling around under a grubby workstation). And if you plan to use compressed air to blow some of the dust out of the case, definitely mask up first. You might also want to consider vacuuming that dust out rather than blowing it around — but you should use an ESD (electrostatic discharge) safe vacuum designed for electronics.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Top Ten Self-fullness Tips for Sandwiched Women
No need to look up "self-fullness" in the dictionary - you won't find it. And it's also not likely to be in the vocabulary of women who are pulled between their careers, children, parents, spouse or even grandchildren. No matter what age women have attained, many still act the part of the 'good girl,' responding to the needs of others first. It's fitting that these multitasking women are called the Sandwich Generation - since a sandwich often means a quick bite to eat on the run for those who don't have the time for a sit-down meal.
No matter what challenges you face in your career and at home with children growing up and parents growing older, it's not selfish to set aside time for a taste of healthy self-fullness. Vow to put your feet up and think about yourself for once. What brings you happiness? What relieves the stress you face every day? What will bring balance to your life? These ten tips will guide you as you make plans to nourish yourself.
1. Whether you are changing jobs, having a baby, facing an empty nest, welcoming a boomerang kidult home, caring for a parent with Alzheimer's or anticipating your spouse's retirement, you don't have to cope with it alone. Find others in like situations or a women's group and gain emotional support as you share ideas.
2. As caring for your family-in-flux requires more and more of your energy, you may not be able to spend as much time with your friends. Resolve to stay in contact with them - even though your to-do list keeps growing and your calendar is full. Friendships and the social support they provide can be a potent antidote to the toxins of daily hassles.
3. Schedule in some quiet, private time and do something that gives you pleasure - take a walk by the water, enjoy the beauty of a sunset, immerse yourself in a good book. Think of this as a personal retreat that provides the opportunity to reconnect and re-center you.
4. Guilt runs rampant among caregivers who often worry that they're not doing enough for their loved ones. Remind yourself that you're dancing as fast as you can, given the realities of your life situation. You don't have to be the perfect mother, daughter, or wife. Set your own reasonable standards rather than falling in the trap of trying to live up to others' expectations.
5. Work to release additional areas of negativity - both in thought and emotions. When you are afraid of what the future holds in store or angry about what you need to cope with on a daily basis, acknowledge these as normal reactions and accept that they will come and go. Your frustrations and resentments make up part of the tapestry of your life but they need not be in the forefront. Once you understand that they are common responses to a difficult situation, you will find it easier to let them recede.
6. As you free yourself from negative feelings, begin to replace them with a more positive attitude. In your journal, write about what you are grateful for in your life. End each evening by reviewing three pleasant things that happened that day and savor the warmth these memories generate. Let your creativity emerge as you explore new interests.
7. Develop personal stress relievers to counteract the burnout that at times overwhelms you. Practice techniques of deep breathing, relaxation or your own form of meditation. Begin an exercise program that you will enjoy - commit to a schedule at the gym or take in the great outdoors, walking with a friend, biking in the neighborhood, hiking in the countryside on weekends.
8. Give yourself the gift of laughter - look for humor in your daily life, share a funny movie or television show with a friend, participate in activities that bring you joy. After you read the news section of your daily paper, turn to the Comics page to lighten your mood and release endorphins. Recent studies have found that a positive mood creates the atmosphere for better decision-making.
9. Ask for what you need from your family members and seek out professionals for their expertise and guidance. You don't have to do everything yourself. Let your spouse, children and siblings know exactly how you feel, what you want from them, and how they can do their share.
10. Recognize that it is healthy to receive as well as to give. Taking help when it is offered doesn't diminish your abilities. Accept and integrate the admiration that others express for you. Relish the gratitude and love that your partner, parents and children demonstrate.
As you decide to take better care of yourself, you will discover the strength to find balance in your life. Develop a firm core of self-fullness - it will sustain you as you continue to nurture your growing and changing family.
No matter what challenges you face in your career and at home with children growing up and parents growing older, it's not selfish to set aside time for a taste of healthy self-fullness. Vow to put your feet up and think about yourself for once. What brings you happiness? What relieves the stress you face every day? What will bring balance to your life? These ten tips will guide you as you make plans to nourish yourself.
1. Whether you are changing jobs, having a baby, facing an empty nest, welcoming a boomerang kidult home, caring for a parent with Alzheimer's or anticipating your spouse's retirement, you don't have to cope with it alone. Find others in like situations or a women's group and gain emotional support as you share ideas.
2. As caring for your family-in-flux requires more and more of your energy, you may not be able to spend as much time with your friends. Resolve to stay in contact with them - even though your to-do list keeps growing and your calendar is full. Friendships and the social support they provide can be a potent antidote to the toxins of daily hassles.
3. Schedule in some quiet, private time and do something that gives you pleasure - take a walk by the water, enjoy the beauty of a sunset, immerse yourself in a good book. Think of this as a personal retreat that provides the opportunity to reconnect and re-center you.
4. Guilt runs rampant among caregivers who often worry that they're not doing enough for their loved ones. Remind yourself that you're dancing as fast as you can, given the realities of your life situation. You don't have to be the perfect mother, daughter, or wife. Set your own reasonable standards rather than falling in the trap of trying to live up to others' expectations.
5. Work to release additional areas of negativity - both in thought and emotions. When you are afraid of what the future holds in store or angry about what you need to cope with on a daily basis, acknowledge these as normal reactions and accept that they will come and go. Your frustrations and resentments make up part of the tapestry of your life but they need not be in the forefront. Once you understand that they are common responses to a difficult situation, you will find it easier to let them recede.
6. As you free yourself from negative feelings, begin to replace them with a more positive attitude. In your journal, write about what you are grateful for in your life. End each evening by reviewing three pleasant things that happened that day and savor the warmth these memories generate. Let your creativity emerge as you explore new interests.
7. Develop personal stress relievers to counteract the burnout that at times overwhelms you. Practice techniques of deep breathing, relaxation or your own form of meditation. Begin an exercise program that you will enjoy - commit to a schedule at the gym or take in the great outdoors, walking with a friend, biking in the neighborhood, hiking in the countryside on weekends.
8. Give yourself the gift of laughter - look for humor in your daily life, share a funny movie or television show with a friend, participate in activities that bring you joy. After you read the news section of your daily paper, turn to the Comics page to lighten your mood and release endorphins. Recent studies have found that a positive mood creates the atmosphere for better decision-making.
9. Ask for what you need from your family members and seek out professionals for their expertise and guidance. You don't have to do everything yourself. Let your spouse, children and siblings know exactly how you feel, what you want from them, and how they can do their share.
10. Recognize that it is healthy to receive as well as to give. Taking help when it is offered doesn't diminish your abilities. Accept and integrate the admiration that others express for you. Relish the gratitude and love that your partner, parents and children demonstrate.
As you decide to take better care of yourself, you will discover the strength to find balance in your life. Develop a firm core of self-fullness - it will sustain you as you continue to nurture your growing and changing family.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
7 Signs of Poor Productivity
If you're like most professionals, there never seems to be enough time in the day. A handful of e-mails may keep you in the office past the time you had planned to leave, or you might find yourself working on Saturday after barely touching a key project during the week. Short of adding an extra hour or two to the day, what can you do to complete everything on your plate?
One solution is to identify and eliminate productivity pitfalls from your workday. Consider the following signs of poor productivity and ways of improving your habits:
1. Not knowing what to tackle first.
If you have dozens of to-dos, it can be difficult to determine which to work on first; you may approach a low-priority project immediately only because it was top of mind. Spending just 10 to 15 minutes at the start of your day organizing your work is a simple and highly effective way to boost your productivity. You'll be able to prioritize and identify the most pressing projects.
2. Biting off more than you can chew.
When you're facing a complicated or tedious assignment, what's the first thing you usually do? Procrastinate, probably. The result is that you have to scramble to finish the assignment on time. A better approach is to break your work down into smaller, more manageable tasks. You'll feel a sense of accomplishment each time you reach a milestone and gradually work toward your goal.
3. Working at the wrong time.
In a recent survey by our company, 57 percent of executives said Tuesday is the most productive day of the week. Monday came in a distant second with just 12 percent of the response. The lesson: Schedule your most important projects for days and times when you are most productive. If you typically have meetings in the morning, for instance, you may save an assignment that requires a lot of concentration for the afternoon.
4. Having an unruly inbox.
Instead of boosting productivity, e-mail can quickly decrease your effectiveness. Over time, trying to keep up with an ever-expanding and unorganized inbox can steal hours from your day. To avoid this, clean your inbox weekly; delete unnecessary messages and file the important ones in an appropriate folder. In addition, remember that some discussions are easier and quicker to conduct in person or by phone. The less e-mail you send, the less you are apt to receive.
5. Keeping your door open.
It's important to be accessible to colleagues, but you occasionally need some time for yourself. When you're under a tight deadline or working on a crucial assignment, minimize distractions and curtail interruptions by closing your door or hanging a "Do Not Disturb" sign in your work area. But keep in mind your request will lose impact if your sign is posted at all times.
6. Staying put.
As most people know, sitting at your computer for hours on end can be draining and put you in a productivity rut. Recharge and clear your head by taking short breaks throughout the day. For instance, you may take a quick stroll around the building or sit at a picnic table outside. Getting some fresh air can be an invigorating break from your routine and give you the energy you need to tackle your next assignment.
7. Missing opportunities to save time.
Small "time cheats" that save you a few minutes here or there can significantly boost your productivity. For example, rather than responding to every e-mail as it comes in and losing momentum hit Reply, then save the message in your Drafts folder. You'll be able to respond to the message at a more convenient time and won't forget to answer the person who wrote you. (Note: or in our case, use "Follow Up")
Finally, be realistic. While you want to push yourself, if your productivity goals are impossible to achieve, you'll end up frustrated, not motivated. Start with small objectives, such as limiting your unanswered e-mail to a single screen before leaving the office each night. As you begin to hit your initial targets, you can gradually increase the challenge.
By: Robert Half International [www.rhi.com]
One solution is to identify and eliminate productivity pitfalls from your workday. Consider the following signs of poor productivity and ways of improving your habits:
1. Not knowing what to tackle first.
If you have dozens of to-dos, it can be difficult to determine which to work on first; you may approach a low-priority project immediately only because it was top of mind. Spending just 10 to 15 minutes at the start of your day organizing your work is a simple and highly effective way to boost your productivity. You'll be able to prioritize and identify the most pressing projects.
2. Biting off more than you can chew.
When you're facing a complicated or tedious assignment, what's the first thing you usually do? Procrastinate, probably. The result is that you have to scramble to finish the assignment on time. A better approach is to break your work down into smaller, more manageable tasks. You'll feel a sense of accomplishment each time you reach a milestone and gradually work toward your goal.
3. Working at the wrong time.
In a recent survey by our company, 57 percent of executives said Tuesday is the most productive day of the week. Monday came in a distant second with just 12 percent of the response. The lesson: Schedule your most important projects for days and times when you are most productive. If you typically have meetings in the morning, for instance, you may save an assignment that requires a lot of concentration for the afternoon.
4. Having an unruly inbox.
Instead of boosting productivity, e-mail can quickly decrease your effectiveness. Over time, trying to keep up with an ever-expanding and unorganized inbox can steal hours from your day. To avoid this, clean your inbox weekly; delete unnecessary messages and file the important ones in an appropriate folder. In addition, remember that some discussions are easier and quicker to conduct in person or by phone. The less e-mail you send, the less you are apt to receive.
5. Keeping your door open.
It's important to be accessible to colleagues, but you occasionally need some time for yourself. When you're under a tight deadline or working on a crucial assignment, minimize distractions and curtail interruptions by closing your door or hanging a "Do Not Disturb" sign in your work area. But keep in mind your request will lose impact if your sign is posted at all times.
6. Staying put.
As most people know, sitting at your computer for hours on end can be draining and put you in a productivity rut. Recharge and clear your head by taking short breaks throughout the day. For instance, you may take a quick stroll around the building or sit at a picnic table outside. Getting some fresh air can be an invigorating break from your routine and give you the energy you need to tackle your next assignment.
7. Missing opportunities to save time.
Small "time cheats" that save you a few minutes here or there can significantly boost your productivity. For example, rather than responding to every e-mail as it comes in and losing momentum hit Reply, then save the message in your Drafts folder. You'll be able to respond to the message at a more convenient time and won't forget to answer the person who wrote you. (Note: or in our case, use "Follow Up")
Finally, be realistic. While you want to push yourself, if your productivity goals are impossible to achieve, you'll end up frustrated, not motivated. Start with small objectives, such as limiting your unanswered e-mail to a single screen before leaving the office each night. As you begin to hit your initial targets, you can gradually increase the challenge.
By: Robert Half International [www.rhi.com]
Monday, September 8, 2008
Don't Let Your Job Get Toxic
Sometimes no matter how hard you try to do all the right things at work, a job may feel as if it's hurting you more than helping you. Maybe the job is a bad fit, maybe volatility in your industry gives you anxiety about the future, or maybe a salary cut is making too many of your purchases stress-inducing.
If you find yourself in a similar position, you have to assess whether your work situation is toxic or revivable. If you decide your job is toxic, take control and formulate an exit
plan. It's simply not worth staying in a situation that can negatively impact your health, relationships, and peace of mind.
If you decide to create some changes in your job, you can take the following proactive self-care measures to protect your well-being as you focus on the challenges ahead.
Speak up. Talk with your boss (if he or she is not the problem) and engage in a solutions-oriented dialogue. You may not be able to change the company, but you might be able to make your department a much more pleasant place to work.
Move. Fifteen minutes of yoga or Pilates will reduce stress, increase focus and mental clarity, and improve overall well-being.
Relax. Massage, meditation and positive visualization will reduce stress, improve circulation, remove toxins from the body, and help you sleep.
Blow the 6:00 whistle. Don't stay in a toxic workplace any longer than absolutely necessary, and don't take your toxic job home with you. When 6:00 p.m. rolls around, leave.
Take a break. It's actually smart to take a "mental health day" every now and then. Don't feel guilty for taking a day off to get your life back in balance.
Get fueled. Proper nutrition is one of your best defenses. Keeping your body fortified helps to boost energy, prevent illness, and minimize the harmful effects of stress.
Go green. Living plants enhance the air quality of indoor environments, and also have been shown to induce positive energy.
Breathe. Recycled air in office buildings and enclosed work areas can be very unhealthy. If you have the option of opening windows, let the fresh air in! Otherwise, use air purifiers and natural aromatherapies to lift spirits and freshen the air.
Color your world. Finally, don't underestimate the psychological impact of color. Surround yourself with greens and blues to create a sense of tranquility.
In fact, putting some of these tips into practice may change how you perceive your job and its challenges. It's all about perspective.
The important thing is to give yourself permission to seek a healthy working environment where you can thrive instead of just survive.
If you find yourself in a similar position, you have to assess whether your work situation is toxic or revivable. If you decide your job is toxic, take control and formulate an exit
plan. It's simply not worth staying in a situation that can negatively impact your health, relationships, and peace of mind.
If you decide to create some changes in your job, you can take the following proactive self-care measures to protect your well-being as you focus on the challenges ahead.
Speak up. Talk with your boss (if he or she is not the problem) and engage in a solutions-oriented dialogue. You may not be able to change the company, but you might be able to make your department a much more pleasant place to work.
Move. Fifteen minutes of yoga or Pilates will reduce stress, increase focus and mental clarity, and improve overall well-being.
Relax. Massage, meditation and positive visualization will reduce stress, improve circulation, remove toxins from the body, and help you sleep.
Blow the 6:00 whistle. Don't stay in a toxic workplace any longer than absolutely necessary, and don't take your toxic job home with you. When 6:00 p.m. rolls around, leave.
Take a break. It's actually smart to take a "mental health day" every now and then. Don't feel guilty for taking a day off to get your life back in balance.
Get fueled. Proper nutrition is one of your best defenses. Keeping your body fortified helps to boost energy, prevent illness, and minimize the harmful effects of stress.
Go green. Living plants enhance the air quality of indoor environments, and also have been shown to induce positive energy.
Breathe. Recycled air in office buildings and enclosed work areas can be very unhealthy. If you have the option of opening windows, let the fresh air in! Otherwise, use air purifiers and natural aromatherapies to lift spirits and freshen the air.
Color your world. Finally, don't underestimate the psychological impact of color. Surround yourself with greens and blues to create a sense of tranquility.
In fact, putting some of these tips into practice may change how you perceive your job and its challenges. It's all about perspective.
The important thing is to give yourself permission to seek a healthy working environment where you can thrive instead of just survive.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Great communication is a question of confidence
Great communication is a question of confidence. Often our outward appearance can mask our inner feelings.
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Andy had just been promoted and had to give his first presentation to the senior management team. He prepared well, rehearsing the material frequently. A colleague had even gone through his PowerPoint slides with him as a double check. On the day, he delivered the presentation very well and afterwards his boss, who had been in the audience, took him to one side to congratulate him.
Andy confessed, ‘I was really nervous’ at which his boss surprised him and said ‘Well, if that’s true you hid it very well, it didn’t show at all.’
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This sort of conversation happens all the time and the important thing to learn is that often it’s not how you feel inside, but how you project that is important.
You may be starting to think consciously about your own self-confidence, just how good are you?
The great secret of business (and life in general)
Whatever you think about your ability, it is almost certainly at a lower level than other people view you.
A performance appraisal used to be something that was conducted by your manager, giving them the chance to tell you what they thought of you. Now more and more organizations are using 360-degree feedback where a much wider circle of people gets to comment on how you perform. This will probably include your peers, your customers, your staff and yourself.
Without fail you will mark yourself lower than anyone else does because for some reason many of us often think we’re not as good as other people see us.
This doesn’t mean you have no faith in your own ability, you probably know the things you’re good at, but still we can scarcely believe that other people see us as so capable.
This feeling is no respecter of rank, status, age or experience. We found leading academics who’d quiver at the sight of a microphone pointed in their direction, articulate and inspirational business leaders who miraculously became tongue-tied when they knew we were recording the conversation.
It is our experience that everyone, regardless of status or authority, has some degree of self-doubt, some moment when they can’t actually believe they’ve reached the position they now hold. If you look up enviously at some of these figures then take heart.
According to…
Cary Cooper – Professor of Organizational Psychology, UMIST
I should actually listen to broadcasts I make, but you know why I don’t do it, I’m frightened that I’ll hear that I’m not very good and undermine my self-confidence, isn’t that the stupidest thing?
But it’s an act of avoidance and I shouldn’t do that really – I should listen to my radio broadcasts, watch my TV broadcasts and just see if I said silly things and what I can learn, but I’m frightened I’ll think I’m so lousy, I won’t go on again.
So, even leading academics have the odd crisis of confidence, but what about our most talented business leaders?
According to…
Simon Terrington – founding director of Human Capital, a consultancy that advises media companies on their creative strategies
The thing is we’re all just blagging it, aren’t we? That’s the whole point in life.
You know that the syndrome that most chief executives suffer from is called the ‘Outsider Syndrome’, which is the fear that someone is going to tap you on the shoulder and say you’ve been found out, we know you’ve been bluffing the whole time, we know that you shouldn’t really be doing this, you’re not up to it. And everyone’s afraid of that.
I think we have a culture of hero worship, because we believe that chief executives are these supermen who create empires. I always think that in any company no one knows all the answers, and once you realize that, it’s actually very liberating.
In the small hours of the morning, we can all lie awake worrying. At that time, none of us believes we are much good, but remember, it’s what other people see that matters.
The truth about… how to get feedback
Getting feedback on a regular basis about the way we appear to others is a vital part of self-development; really effective communicators do this all the time and it’s not difficult to achieve.
The easiest way to find out is to ask. You don’t have to make it look like you’re fishing for compliments or unsure of your ground either. If it’s a colleague, a peer or even one of your own staff, you can ask in an open and honest way, and you will usually get a frank and honest answer.
It’s here that a ‘mentor’, either officially appointed or unofficially adopted, can be a great help. The best thing to do is to find someone of a similar level within the organization who does a different job but understands your role – under these circumstances you can agree to a reciprocal mentoring deal, using each other to bounce ideas off.
You can also involve others on an occasional basis, so that you get a range of responses. For example, after a team briefing you might take one of your staff to one side and ask, ‘How do you think the rest of the team will have received that information? Do you think what we’re doing is clear? Is it fair? What problems do you think we might encounter?’ They’re sure to appreciate your honesty and feel good about you valuing their opinion.
Choose someone for your feedback whom you trust – it also helps if they have a degree of sensitivity because some of the things they tell you will inevitably feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s honesty you want, not verbal abuse.
Raising your level of consciousness about feedback can also help, as in a range of situations, from one-to-one meetings through to formal presentations, you can start to observe your audience more critically for non-verbal signs of approval, or otherwise.
According to…
Val Gooding – BUPA
One vitally important piece of advice I’d offer is to ask more questions – it works in a huge range of situations, maybe you’re in a situation where you’ve been promoted to a new job and you’re not sure what you should be doing, a lot of people will try and cover up that they’re not sure what they should be doing and swan around looking supremely selfconfident. The best thing to do is ask questions whatever level you’re at – ask questions, be nosy, be curious and don’t be deterred if you’re asking a question of a very senior person, somebody more important than you – keep asking questions, that’s how you learn and become more effective.
Try this
Buy a Dictaphone. In the 1970s Dictaphones became popular as a way of replacing the conventional skills of the secretary. Because of this new technology you could sit and compose your correspondence at leisure, certain in the knowledge that the copy-typist would shape your ramblings into something resembling English.
Now these portable devices have a multitude of business uses. Handheld personal Dictaphones are about the size of a mobile phone and cost from around £30 for a reasonable quality model.
You can use your Dictaphone to take notes on any subject at any time. Even on a car journey you can set the machine to record as you start out and let it capture your outpourings along the way. If you’re an ‘ideas person’, you can capture your inspiration as you go.
If you have to make a speech or presentation you can dictate it and listen back until, through repetition, you have memorized it. An extra tip here is to look out for one of the cassette-based models; although slightly bulkier than their mini-cassette equivalents, you can play back at home or on your in-car system.
When you need to get a more objective view of how well you’re communicating, you can tape a meeting or presentation, and listen to your performance later. If you’re lucky enough to have a mentor and brave enough to play it to them, the analysis is even more beneficial.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
What Is Intelligence Really?
Although IQ tests measure a certain aspect of intelligence potential, there isn’t complete agreement that what is being measured is actually intelligence. Standard intelligence tests focus a lot on exploring and measuring linguistic/logical/mathematical ability. But is that really the same quality as intelligence? Or is intelligence something broader than that?
We have all met people who have a lot of “book smarts” but seem to have no “life smarts.” Should we really be saying that they are intelligent? Some people who did poorly in school often turn out to be very successful in later life. Why do our current IQ tests seem unable to predict or explain these outcomes?
A person may have failed dismally in school, and yet turn out to be a genius in marketing. Is this person stupid, or brilliant? If a man is a great scientist, but can’t ever pick a suitable mate, is he really very smart? Was Picasso inept because he wasn’t also a brilliant mathematician? Was Einstein inadequate because he wasn’t also a great artist?
Which of these two men had more intelligence? Is there more than one kind of intelligence? How should we define intelligence? Can we really measure it? What is intelligence, really?
Several experts in the field of intelligence have proposed that we need to broaden our understanding of what intelligence really is, and the role it plays in successful living.
Psychologist Howard Gardner of
In his intriguing book, “Frames of Mind: Theories of Multiple Intelligences”,
Another psychologist, Robert Sternberg, has suggested we consider three distinct forms of intelligence. One type is the ability to think logically and rationally, doing well in an academic type of environment.
A second kind of intelligence identified by Sternberg is the ability to come up with creative solutions to real life situations. And the third type, according to Sternberg, is the ability to psychologically understand people and interact effectively with them.
A very different perspective on the IQ issue is presented by Daniel Goldman in his best-selling book, “Emotional Intelligence”. Goldman offers an explanation for why a high IQ does not always lead to success in career or in life. He says that EQ, or emotional intelligence, has been an overlooked factor that is an extremely important ingredient for success in life.
An ability to get along with others, to be optimistic, to be determined, are among the many factors that contribute to success, perhaps even more than intellectual ability.
Are you starting to realize that intelligence is not just a question of one test score number that forever limits your possibilities? If we define intelligence primarily as an aptitude for mathematical and linguistic/logical thinking, we may be missing other forms of intelligence that are also important.
If you happen to know your own IQ score, don’t think of it as something that limits or defines your potential. If your IQ is in the average range it does not in any way mean you are limited to a life of average success and average accomplishment.
If your IQ is in the above average range, it does not guarantee you a life of ease. You can’t use either a high IQ score or a low one as an excuse not to try very hard.
Your IQ score is only a number. It does not define you. It does not really limit you. It’s just a starting point. Remember that many other qualities you already possess or can develop are also important for success in life.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Is Crying good for you?
It is a widespread belief in the western world that crying is therapeutic and also the converse, that failure to cry is a danger to our health. Randolph Cornelius (1986) systematically analysed the content of popular articles on weeping in the press from 1850 to 1985 and found a major theme was that crying was considered an important means of releasing physiological tensions; if it wasn't released, it would find an outlet in some other way, such as affecting the person's body and possibly causing disease. 94% of articles recommended letting tears flow.
Psychotherapists and counsellors from nearly every school or persuasion regard crying during the process of therapy as constructive rather than destructive, though there may be some exceptions to this general rule such as depression, some neuropsychological conditions and manipulative crying. Sometimes a patient enters the therapy office for the first session and may cry with relief within minutes in the presence of the therapist, who is effectively a total stranger. Often patients who cry during sessions whilst talking about subjects of crucial emotional importance to them, spontaneously say how much better they feel or may report in the next session how they were upset at the time but felt much better afterwards. Whereas in normal life people may try to steer others away from crying, in therapy the psychologist often steers into crying.
From a biological perspective three kinds of tears are distinguished (Lutz 1999); "Basal tears" are continuous and lubricate our eyes; "reflex or infant tears" occur when we chop onions or receive a blow to the eye; "emotional tears" are psychologically caused. Frey, Desota-Johnson, Hoffman & McCall (1981) present experimental evidence of the difference between the biochemical composition of emotional tears compared to irritant tears. The protein concentration of emotional tears was 24% greater than irritant tears. The complex proteins in emotional tears were those involved in the human stress response. Frey et al proposed that tears performed a sort of physical catharsis, expelling toxins from the body.
A type of physiological catharsis was proposed by Efran & Spangler (1979). Following a period of sympathetic nervous system hyperactivity, crying is part of a parasympathetic rebound effect in which tears serve to discharge arousal.
Cornelius went on to conduct research into whether the belief in the value of tears was justified. In his review of the literature on crying and catharsis (Cornelius 2001) we are left more perplexed than before. When people are asked in interview (Cornelius 1981), questionnaire (Lombardo et al 1983) or through diary keeping (Frey 1983, Kraemer & Hastrup 1986), they report feeling relieved, more relaxed or in a better mood after crying. This held over a 29 nation study of crying (Vingerhoets & Becht 1997). However, when Cornelius reviewed experimental studies of crying, which usually take the form of showing a sad movie and taking measures of crying and mood, something different was found. There is very little evidence of physiological or mood benefits after weeping, sometimes the reverse.
So there is a dilemma - people universally report crying is beneficial but the laboratory says something different. Perhaps this simply reflects the difference between the laboratory and real life. The laboratory requires experimental stimuli that are objectively similar for all subjects and the 'weepie' movie is ideal. Stimuli need to be applied within a controlled time and place. In real life the stresses are personally meaningful and build up over days, weeks, months or sometimes years. They spontaneously come to a head; the person cries. This natural and personalised event is difficult to capture and study and the laboratory may simply be failing to come to grips with 'the real thing'.
On the other hand, it has been suggested that during crying the person experiences raised levels of physiological arousal. When the arousal returns to previous levels, it is experienced as feeling better (Kraemer & Hastrup 1988). In other words, the person does not really feel better but only feels better by a sort of 'contrast effect' with their distress during crying. In this scenarios all the self report interviews could be nothing more than self delusion.
So is crying good for you? - as long as you don't do it in the laboratory.
Friday, August 8, 2008
How to Rebuild Your Self Confidence
There are times in life when your self confidence will take a hard hit. Sometimes you are able to overcome life's challenges, while other times you simply feel overwhelmed. Sometimes, your confidence and courage will see you through. However, there are times when your self confidence will take a beating. Therefore, it is extremely important that you remember "Nobody can hurt you without your consent." The impact the problem has on you, is not nearly as important as the impact you allow the problem to create on you. In your life, it is inevitable you will feel pain, but suffering is definitely optional. Whether you choose to bounce back or endure the pain is purely a choice.
There can be a variety of different reasons why your self confidence may be hurt. Your circumstance may be that you have had a hard marriage and are now headed for divorce court. Or perhaps you did not make the college football team or may have even been laid off work. Undoubtedly, there is a lot of pain associated with any of these situations. However, you don't have to suffer. You can simply choose to resolve or rise above the problem and get back your confidence.
The following are some ways that can help rebuild your self confidence.
Look at the bright side of things.
If you have lost your job, give yourself permission to feel bad for a day or two. However, longer than that is not acceptable. Yes, losing a job is a horrible thing, but it is not the end of the world. In reality, losing your job may be a blessing in disguise. Time away from work may allow you to take a closer look at your life. You can take the time to review your likes and dislikes, as well as your hobbies. This may give you the opportunity to choose a new path in life, one that is more in sync with your aptitude and abilities. Similarly, a divorce may cause you a great deal of pain upfront. However, chances are you were not happy in your marriage. Now, you can begin to rebuild your life and live it the way you want to.
Don't compare yourself to others
Whenever a problem arises, we often ask God "Why me?" Chances are, God has given you quite a few rewards in your life. When you received the rewards did you ask God "Why me?" This is simply what human nature is all about. We often complain and only seek God when we are in trouble. It is important that you do not look at other people who may appear comfortable and happy from a distance. Stop comparing your suffering with their comfort. This will only make matters worse. Instead, try focusing the attention on yourself. Make a genuine effort to get out whenever you are feeling down.
Self pity can be very addicting and in turn, destroy lives. Instead of giving into self pity (although we all do this from time to time), take back control of your life. Own up to your actions and learn from any mistakes you have made. This will help you to obtain a fresh start. Don't let a "NO" get you down. A "NO" is something that everyone, including people like Thomas Edison and Henry Ford has had to face. If you look at it in the right light, you can see that a "NO" is actually just a step closer to a "YES". Reports show that before Edison was successful in producing an electric bulb, he conducted more than a thousand experiments that all failed. Therefore, take the "NO" in stride and keep going.
Are you keeping yourself from moving on?
Shadows form when we stand directly in the path of sunshine. In our lives, we too can cause shadows by standing directly in the way of our own happiness. In today's society, it is extremely important that we remain flexible. People will often search for months for the perfect job, while allowing others to slip away, simply because they are not willing to adapt to some new job skills. Jane, who was laid off from her job as a teacher, tried for several months to obtain another teaching job.
All the while, she was turning down jobs to work as a freelance copy-editor, a nanny position and even private tutoring positions. The extremely long wait took a further toll on her self confidence. Sometimes it is wise to be flexible and try to adapt to another job, rather than trying to find the perfect replacement. This will help to rebuild confidence, which can eventually lead to a better job, in the field of your choice.
There can be a variety of different reasons why your self confidence may be hurt. Your circumstance may be that you have had a hard marriage and are now headed for divorce court. Or perhaps you did not make the college football team or may have even been laid off work. Undoubtedly, there is a lot of pain associated with any of these situations. However, you don't have to suffer. You can simply choose to resolve or rise above the problem and get back your confidence.
The following are some ways that can help rebuild your self confidence.
Look at the bright side of things.
If you have lost your job, give yourself permission to feel bad for a day or two. However, longer than that is not acceptable. Yes, losing a job is a horrible thing, but it is not the end of the world. In reality, losing your job may be a blessing in disguise. Time away from work may allow you to take a closer look at your life. You can take the time to review your likes and dislikes, as well as your hobbies. This may give you the opportunity to choose a new path in life, one that is more in sync with your aptitude and abilities. Similarly, a divorce may cause you a great deal of pain upfront. However, chances are you were not happy in your marriage. Now, you can begin to rebuild your life and live it the way you want to.
Don't compare yourself to others
Whenever a problem arises, we often ask God "Why me?" Chances are, God has given you quite a few rewards in your life. When you received the rewards did you ask God "Why me?" This is simply what human nature is all about. We often complain and only seek God when we are in trouble. It is important that you do not look at other people who may appear comfortable and happy from a distance. Stop comparing your suffering with their comfort. This will only make matters worse. Instead, try focusing the attention on yourself. Make a genuine effort to get out whenever you are feeling down.
Self pity can be very addicting and in turn, destroy lives. Instead of giving into self pity (although we all do this from time to time), take back control of your life. Own up to your actions and learn from any mistakes you have made. This will help you to obtain a fresh start. Don't let a "NO" get you down. A "NO" is something that everyone, including people like Thomas Edison and Henry Ford has had to face. If you look at it in the right light, you can see that a "NO" is actually just a step closer to a "YES". Reports show that before Edison was successful in producing an electric bulb, he conducted more than a thousand experiments that all failed. Therefore, take the "NO" in stride and keep going.
Are you keeping yourself from moving on?
Shadows form when we stand directly in the path of sunshine. In our lives, we too can cause shadows by standing directly in the way of our own happiness. In today's society, it is extremely important that we remain flexible. People will often search for months for the perfect job, while allowing others to slip away, simply because they are not willing to adapt to some new job skills. Jane, who was laid off from her job as a teacher, tried for several months to obtain another teaching job.
All the while, she was turning down jobs to work as a freelance copy-editor, a nanny position and even private tutoring positions. The extremely long wait took a further toll on her self confidence. Sometimes it is wise to be flexible and try to adapt to another job, rather than trying to find the perfect replacement. This will help to rebuild confidence, which can eventually lead to a better job, in the field of your choice.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
How Do You Define Success?
It's a word we use constantly. Authors of self-help books use it in their titles all the time. If you are a human being with any kind of goal or project, you want it. But what does it actually mean? How do we define success?
We may all want success, but we don't all see it in the same way. One person's success may be another's failure. Some people would be very happy to get a B in exam. For some people, anything less than an A is a failure.
What does a successful person look like? Do you imagine someone with an expensive, fast car with a Rolex watch? Do you think about a sportsperson winning a gold medal? A great contributor to humanity, such as Ghandi? Or do you imagine a person who is merely happy?
If we have achieved our goals, but are not happy, are we truly successful? Perhaps this just means that we have not clearly defined our own terms of success. If achieving our goals does not bring fulfillment, perhaps it was someone else's goal we were aiming for. Our parents, peers and teachers may be very good at imposing their own views of what success means, but the danger is that it may not ultimately be ours, and it can take a long time to find this out.
There are many different definitions of success. Before we travel the road on the journey to our goals, we need to be sure that we understand our own vision of success.
For example, let us say that you own your own online home business. Of course, you want it to be successful. But what does this success look like for you? Is it extra income so that you can go on an extra holiday every year? Do you want it to bring you a full time income so you can leave your current job? Or do you want to be a multi-millionaire like Matt Morris of Success University? Which of these definitions means the most to you?
The other danger, other than not defining our own terms, is that we set our terms too high. I am not saying we should not have big goals; we can all benefit from thinking big. But if our only goal in life is to be a millionaire, it might just take a little time to feel successful! Why not be successful every day? There are many ways in which we can set ourselves little goals or tasks for every day, or every week so we can feel we are making progress and be a successful person.
Here's an example. One of my biggest goals is to become a bestselling author. However, I don't think that I am not successful because I have not yet achieved that. For me, I am successful if I write every day and am continually working towards my main goal. I have other writing successes, such as completing four novels and having articles published in glossy magazines. Yet, while these are all successful achievements, they are also stepping stones towards more confidence, more goals and greater achievement.
While we are aiming for the stars, we also need to look around us and see where we are successful every day.
To find your own success definitions, ask yourself the following: What is important to you? Write a list of your important values such as integrity, humour, family or freedom and make sure your goals fit in with these. When did you last feel happy and proud of yourself? What were you doing, or what had you achieved?
If you want success in life there are many resources, such as life coaching or personal development websites. But first you need to define success on your own terms. Once you have done that, you take action to achieve it, and achieve it daily.
We may all want success, but we don't all see it in the same way. One person's success may be another's failure. Some people would be very happy to get a B in exam. For some people, anything less than an A is a failure.
What does a successful person look like? Do you imagine someone with an expensive, fast car with a Rolex watch? Do you think about a sportsperson winning a gold medal? A great contributor to humanity, such as Ghandi? Or do you imagine a person who is merely happy?
If we have achieved our goals, but are not happy, are we truly successful? Perhaps this just means that we have not clearly defined our own terms of success. If achieving our goals does not bring fulfillment, perhaps it was someone else's goal we were aiming for. Our parents, peers and teachers may be very good at imposing their own views of what success means, but the danger is that it may not ultimately be ours, and it can take a long time to find this out.
There are many different definitions of success. Before we travel the road on the journey to our goals, we need to be sure that we understand our own vision of success.
For example, let us say that you own your own online home business. Of course, you want it to be successful. But what does this success look like for you? Is it extra income so that you can go on an extra holiday every year? Do you want it to bring you a full time income so you can leave your current job? Or do you want to be a multi-millionaire like Matt Morris of Success University? Which of these definitions means the most to you?
The other danger, other than not defining our own terms, is that we set our terms too high. I am not saying we should not have big goals; we can all benefit from thinking big. But if our only goal in life is to be a millionaire, it might just take a little time to feel successful! Why not be successful every day? There are many ways in which we can set ourselves little goals or tasks for every day, or every week so we can feel we are making progress and be a successful person.
Here's an example. One of my biggest goals is to become a bestselling author. However, I don't think that I am not successful because I have not yet achieved that. For me, I am successful if I write every day and am continually working towards my main goal. I have other writing successes, such as completing four novels and having articles published in glossy magazines. Yet, while these are all successful achievements, they are also stepping stones towards more confidence, more goals and greater achievement.
While we are aiming for the stars, we also need to look around us and see where we are successful every day.
To find your own success definitions, ask yourself the following: What is important to you? Write a list of your important values such as integrity, humour, family or freedom and make sure your goals fit in with these. When did you last feel happy and proud of yourself? What were you doing, or what had you achieved?
If you want success in life there are many resources, such as life coaching or personal development websites. But first you need to define success on your own terms. Once you have done that, you take action to achieve it, and achieve it daily.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Say NO to Overtime…
Don’t think this is possible? 
We let you in on the secrets of people who have made it happen.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Good Morning!
WebMD Feature from "Prevention" Magazine
By Michele Bender
By Michele Bender
Start Every Day Healthy With Our 3-Step Plan
[one]
Wake up refreshed!
Even early birds can find it difficult to slip out from under their warm, cozy covers on dark winter mornings. Here's how to make it easy:
Note good things to come
Before going to bed, put a sticky note on your alarm clock reminding you of something fun or exciting that's happening the next day. "Because of hormonal shifts that occur while we're asleep, the majority of us wake up feeling a bit down or in a so-so mood," says Dana Lightman, PhD, a behavioral psychologist in Abington, PA. "Remembering that you're having lunch with a friend or that your favorite TV show will be on that night gives you a quick lift."
Surround yourself with color
"Seeing a bright, vibrant hue when you open your eyes gets your adrenaline going--and that sudden surge of energy helps clear the cobwebs and kicks you into gear," says Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute. Put a red, orange, yellow, or fuchsia throw pillow, blanket, or piece of art in the area you first see in the morning, or slip on a robe in one of these shades. You can even make breakfast visually stimulating (and get a nutritional boost) by pouring yourself a glass of antioxidant-rich pomegranate or cranberry juice with a sweet slice of orange.
Put flowers by your bedside
Seeing a bouquet of blooms when they first woke up gave women in a new study a mood lift and energy boost that lasted all day, reports Nancy Etcoff, PhD, a faculty member at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard University Mind/Brain/Behavior Initiative.
Don't hit the snooze button
There's truth in the adage "You snooze, you lose." When you hit snooze, your brain knows it will go off again in a few minutes--so you won't go into the deeper, more restful stages of slumber. That means you'll be more tired than if you'd gotten up when it first sounded. A better strategy: "Set your alarm for when you really need to get up," says Jodi Mindell, PhD, associate director of the Sleep Disorders Center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. "That extra, uninterrupted sleep makes you feel more rested and refreshed when you get out of bed."
Visualize your day
Once you're awake, close your eyes and picture yourself alert and energetic. "Imagining an activity fires up the same parts of your brain that are used when you actually experience it," says Lightman. "Thinking positively about the day ahead energizes you."
Drink a big glass of water
This is a good way to replenish the fluid your body loses overnight, and it provides instant energy. "Everything that happens in your body requires water," says Holly Andersen, MD, an assistant professor of medicine at Weill Cornell Medical Center. "Without enough of it, your systems have to work harder in every respect--which can cause fatigue." Indeed, even a 2% drop in water stores can tire you physically and mentally. Starting to sip early also gives you a head start on the 11 cups of water the Institute of Medicine now recommends women consume throughout the day to stay hydrated.
Let the light in
A splash of sunlight makes you feel more awake, so read the paper by a sunny window or step outside for a few minutes while having your coffee. "Daylight signals your biological clock to stop the secretion of melatonin, a hormone that makes you sleepy, and promotes wakefulness," says James B. Maas, PhD, a professor and past chairman of the department of psychology at Cornell University. It also increases the brain's level of serotonin, a chemical that boosts mood. If it's still dark when you get up, consider purchasing a dawn stimulator (from $80; lighttherapyproducts.com), a device that gradually brightens a light source at a preprogrammed time. Set it to create a dawn that breaks a half hour before your usual wake-up time and grows to maximum brightness when your alarm goes off--even when your eyes are closed, the light that passes through your lids signals your internal clock to trigger waking neurons in your brain.
Rub yourself awake
"Massaging your face boosts circulation, making it a surefire way to wake up," says Maggy Dunphy, general manager of the Aria Spa and Club in Vail, CO. Starting at your forehead and working down to your chin, lightly flutter-tap or drum your fingertips, varying the velocity, intensity, and location until you've touched your entire face. Bonus: These moves give you a quick healthy glow.
[two]
Get all-day energy
Nothing gives you a natural energy boost like exercise, which pumps fatigue-fighting oxygen to your cells and releases mood-boosting endorphins. Even a short session does the trick: In one study, workouts as brief as 10 minutes sparked energy levels for up to 2 hours. The 20-minute interval program below--which alternates brief bursts of high-intensity exercise with longer, slower segments--is ideal for am exercisers. "The intervals are invigorating and will get your heart rate up much quicker than walking at a slower, steady pace," says Tracey Mallett, a certified personal trainer in Los Angeles who designed the workout. Another plus: Walking at a brisk pace burns more calories. Now that's something worth getting out of bed for!
Your Workout at a Glance
Do the walking program, followed by the Start-the-Day Stretches on the next page, 3 to 5 times a week for a month; then increase the high-intensity intervals to 1 minute (this will add an extra 2 1/2 minutes to the workout). To make the program harder and boost your fitness, increase the high-intensity intervals to 1 1/2 minutes.
Pace Yourself
Use the Rate of Perceived Exhaustion (RPE) to gauge how hard you feel you're working on a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being the hardest.
Start-the-Day Stretches
Make time after your workout for these five standing stretches, which help keep your circulation revved, increasing your energy boost. As a bonus, most of the moves target the hardest working muscles in your body, including your thighs, hamstrings, and calves--which tend to be tightest in the am.
[three]
Boost your fat burn
You'll reap benefits all day from eating breakfast: A morning meal shifts your body from an energy-conserving state into calorie-burning gear without effort. And studies show that breakfast eaters concentrate better and are more productive--as well as less likely to be obese--than breakfast skippers.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Master Wealth Creation To Live A Happy Life
There is an inner urge in many of us to succeed and do well in life. For some people this may be measured by their income, their family or by material possessions in their care. How do you measure success? Your salary? The car you drive? A happy marriage? Children?
In order to have a happy and full life you need to define what is important to you, so that you can achieve it.
For the purposes of our lesson here, let’s assume that you want to find happiness in your life. For you to achieve this there are most likely different roadblocks in the way. Based on the vast majority of the population, the one thing that limits happiness is wealth. Without wealth life can indeed become very difficult. There are enough pressures in life to worry about, let alone having money problems hanging over your head.
I recommend to all of my clients that they really need to focus on what is important to them individually and then establish a plan to improve their quality of life, which can lead to more happiness. There is some truth in the comment that money is the source of all evil. This can be true, in that the desire for money itself can lead to an unhappy and unfilled life. What I am on about here is that if you have the money side of things taken care of, then it can be much easier to focus on the important things in life, such as your family.
Wouldn't it be amazing if you could just wake up in the morning, take the kids to school, go for a walk or exercise at the gym, catch up with friends for lunch, read a book, pick up the kids from school and then stay at home with the family in the evening. If you can manage to take out the work aspect of life, suddenly you are freed up to do the things that you love.
For me, I personally love photography. When I managed to get my finances under control, and establish online passive income streams I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about money again. I was able to cut back on how much time I spent working, because I didn't need the money. Now I am free to go away for long weekends or a couple of weeks here and there, on photography excursions, where I can spend time relaxing, while also capturing amazing scenery with my camera. Previously I was working 60+ hour weeks and I would never have time for myself. With the money problem out of the equation, I can focus on things that make me happy, like my family and my hobbies.
When you are able to create streams of passive income, that do the work for you, they earn you the money, you can take a step back from it all and realize that there is more to life than just doing the daily grind in the office. Some people that I have worked with to help take control of their lives have been able to leave their job, where they weren't happy and go back to study a course that they always wanted to. The best part is that they have been able to keep their well paying salaries, because their passive income has replaced it. In most cases even, after careful configuration, they are earning more than they were spending countless hours working.
I encourage you to take control of your life and you to can enjoy an abundant, happy, fulfilled life.
In order to have a happy and full life you need to define what is important to you, so that you can achieve it.
For the purposes of our lesson here, let’s assume that you want to find happiness in your life. For you to achieve this there are most likely different roadblocks in the way. Based on the vast majority of the population, the one thing that limits happiness is wealth. Without wealth life can indeed become very difficult. There are enough pressures in life to worry about, let alone having money problems hanging over your head.
I recommend to all of my clients that they really need to focus on what is important to them individually and then establish a plan to improve their quality of life, which can lead to more happiness. There is some truth in the comment that money is the source of all evil. This can be true, in that the desire for money itself can lead to an unhappy and unfilled life. What I am on about here is that if you have the money side of things taken care of, then it can be much easier to focus on the important things in life, such as your family.
Wouldn't it be amazing if you could just wake up in the morning, take the kids to school, go for a walk or exercise at the gym, catch up with friends for lunch, read a book, pick up the kids from school and then stay at home with the family in the evening. If you can manage to take out the work aspect of life, suddenly you are freed up to do the things that you love.
For me, I personally love photography. When I managed to get my finances under control, and establish online passive income streams I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about money again. I was able to cut back on how much time I spent working, because I didn't need the money. Now I am free to go away for long weekends or a couple of weeks here and there, on photography excursions, where I can spend time relaxing, while also capturing amazing scenery with my camera. Previously I was working 60+ hour weeks and I would never have time for myself. With the money problem out of the equation, I can focus on things that make me happy, like my family and my hobbies.
When you are able to create streams of passive income, that do the work for you, they earn you the money, you can take a step back from it all and realize that there is more to life than just doing the daily grind in the office. Some people that I have worked with to help take control of their lives have been able to leave their job, where they weren't happy and go back to study a course that they always wanted to. The best part is that they have been able to keep their well paying salaries, because their passive income has replaced it. In most cases even, after careful configuration, they are earning more than they were spending countless hours working.
I encourage you to take control of your life and you to can enjoy an abundant, happy, fulfilled life.
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